When the River Doesn’t Flow

A Fellowship of Divine Humans

Soul Talk

When the River Doesn’t Flow

With Master Anna, channeled by John McCurdy on 22 April 2026

This transcript has been edited from the original recording to ensure that the intended meaning is conveyed as clearly as possible. Note that Hmm, Mmm, Ahh, and … signify places to pause, and to feel into yourself and what is being said. Comments in [square brackets] are editorial explanations rather than part of the message.

I am that I am!

Master Anna of Magical Service. Also known as John’s soul… Oh, but more than John’s soul. I am the wholeness of John, all that he is.

Ah, the human is just a very small part of who I am, a very small perspective of who I am.

And you, dear friends, are discovering the wholeness of you. The river of you.

The river is made up of so very many drops. Each drop with its own perspective and its own experience, yet all part of the whole.

And no, these drops are not other people. They are all you. All you!

Those other beings have their own. They are their own river.

This is all you.

Oh, there are some other humans in your river. Other lifetimes that you have lived, other perspectives that you have held, that you have observed. Many, many. And they are all part of this river, right now.

So, in our last message we talked about How the River Flows. And John started putting it together, preparing it to publish, and Romana listened to it and they talked about it, and she asked, “So, what about when it doesn’t flow? What about those times where it just doesn’t seem like things are flowing at all?”

And John realized that we need a follow-up message to talk exactly about that, about when the river doesn’t seem to flow.

And yes, John, you can title this When the River Doesn’t Flow, or something like that, even though the river always flows.

Even if it’s paused to fill up a lake, even if it’s frozen into ice, even if it’s blended into the ocean, it is still flowing.

Each one of those drops is still flowing. It still has its perspective, although that perspective changes as it blends with other drops.

You see, you’ve been on a long journey as this river.

Well, that’s a metaphor. In a very real sense, it has all happened in the blink of an eye.

Everything in this lifetime, everything in every other lifetime, has all happened in the blink of an eye. But for the sake of experience, you created this illusion of time and space. You gave the human a body and a mind, so that it could be in the experience of time and space.

And so for you it seems very slow, but that is indeed part of the illusion, dear friend. It is all happening so quickly!

And yes, there are those times when it seems like the river is not flowing.

One of the most common replies John has heard over the years, as he’s told his story that we shared in that last message about being on the train and realizing God was driving—but really his soul, the river itself, was driving, and his only job was to enjoy the ride. Or at least to be present in the ride.

Oh, he’s shared that story with many people, and it has helped many people to understand. But there have also been many people who’ve said, “You know, I tried that, and I crashed and burned. I quit my job and the money didn’t come.”

Or so many different things in life where they’ve had to jump off that cliff, and they crashed and burned on the rocks at the bottom. And they said, “Sorry, but it doesn’t work. It didn’t work for me.”

Well, yes, John has had many experiences like that also, where it didn’t seem to work. But in hindsight he can see how perfect the river was flowing, and how it actually did work.

The problem is that it didn’t fulfill his human agendas.

And that is the key, dear friend. If you surrender to this river expecting your human agendas to be fulfilled, expecting everything in your life to suddenly feel like peaches and cream and everything nice, then you are going to be disappointed.

Because that is not the nature of this river. That is not what you created it for. That is not what you created Earth for.

And yes, you created it. You were part of the creation of Earth. If you are here, you helped to create it.

It wasn’t spoken into being by some grand, all-powerful God. That being doesn’t exist—unless it’s you, and you are grand and all-powerful in your own creation.

So, you created this Earth for a specific purpose. You went on this journey for a specific purpose.

And, we are going to piss some of you off here, but we are going to say categorically that, that purpose was NOT to have a lot of fun or to have a lot of beauty. That was not your purpose, not at all.

Oh, you’ve discovered a lot of fun and a lot of beauty along the way, but also a lot of pain. A lot of frustration and confusion. A lot of very difficult experiences. Because that is what you came here for.

You came here to understand yourself. To discover yourself. To understand how your creator energies work.

That’s why you came here.

That’s why you created this.

And in order to do that, you have to go through all of it. The good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, the pleasure, the pain, the clarity, the confusion. All of it.

That’s what you came here to do, so you cannot say that the river is not flowing when it doesn’t fulfill your human agendas. Because it is.

It is fulfilling your original purpose.

It is fulfilling the agreement you have with your soul.

It is, at this point, bringing you to the completion of this very intense, very beautiful and also very dark and ugly, journey.

And oh, what a journey it has been!

Very soon, as you open to your soul’s perspective, you will begin to see, and to feel, how incredibly beautiful it has been!

Even in the ugliness. Even in the pain and the suffering.

All of it!

As dear Tobias once said, as you step back and observe your life from this neutral place—he called it behind the short wall—this place of simply observing, of letting go of the judgments and the agendas and simply observing your life, and all life, from that place, you start to see the colors. The incredible colors!

Colors your human can’t even imagine, and how they have woven together into this incredible tapestry. Or painting, or whatever you want to call it.

It’s incredible!

It’s stunning!

The other angels and the other beings, they look at it and they go, “Wow, that’s incredible! I want some of that!” And they line up to come to Earth and go through all those difficult, dark experiences so that they can have that.

So that they can come to that point of realizing the wisdom they have gained, of realizing the incredible grandness and beauty of who they are.

That is why you are here, dear friend.

That is why the whole universe is lined up to follow in your footsteps.

Mmm…

So, as you open your awareness to this river and begin to trust it, you have to open up to the possibility that it is not going to go where you think it should go. It’s just flowing.

And it also has a consciousness, because, well, you are not just the river. You are the land around it. You are all of it, and it is all your consciousness. You can even say, it is all your imagination.

Because your imagination is what is real, dear friend.

You think of imagination as something false, something pretend, but imagination is the most real thing there is.

That’s where your so-called reality comes from, but for the most part it is the soul’s imagination more than the human’s imagination.

The human doesn’t know how to imagine your life, because it simply doesn’t have that ability. It can only remember the past and try to project that, with some minor improvements, into the future. And even that doesn’t work. You just get more of the same.

…

All that you see, all that you feel, is you.

And so, we use this metaphor of the river to help you understand why you need to let go of all that logic, all that—you call it common sense. Sometimes you even call it wisdom, and there is a certain amount of that in it, but for the most part it is human logic.

It comes from your mind. It has no awareness of who you actually are, or of the other realms of you. It has no awareness of anything beyond what its very few physical senses can perceive.

Oh, it has learned very well how to use those, how to navigate this illusion of time and space and of Earth. But it has no idea that it’s an illusion, or that it has nothing, or very, very, very little to do with the reality of you.

So, it gets these ideas of how things should go and then it hears, “Surrender to the river and let the river carry you.”

And it goes, “Oh, finally! A solution!” And it relaxes into the river, and goes plunging off the edge of the cliff over the waterfall…

It cries out, “Help! What happened? I was trusting! And now look, I’m crashing on the rocks!”

…

Well, there are two parts to that:

One is, if you are freaking out and all your attention is on those rocks down there, you are never going to feel the wings as they show up and become available to you. You are too focused.

It’s a silly metaphor, but you can imagine these wings. Suddenly they are attaching themselves to your back, preparing to lift you away, out of the waterfall and into a whole new reality. But all you can see is those rocks down there, and you are so panicked that you can’t even feel those wings, let alone use them. And so, of course, you crash on the rocks.

Then you have to pick yourself up, crawl back into the river, and do it some more. Then you go through some more experience, until you finally start to learn to trust it again.

And then you go through the same cycle. You go over the waterfall, you panic, your wings are useless, and you crash and burn. Over and over and over again, until finally you consciously say:

You know, all those things I thought were so important, they don’t matter anymore. And I have to let my reality shift, because otherwise I might as well just die. And I’d rather die than keep on going the way I’ve been going.

And in that complete surrender, you float over the waterfall.

Your wings burst out of your back, and you find yourself flying.

You find yourself entering into a whole new reality.

Oh, it can sometimes be just a little portion of your reality, and sometimes it’s much more.

…

John finally surrendered to the one driving the train. He finally took his hands off the controls, because he realized that he had no ability to get that train across the empty spaces and around the barriers. But his soul did.

This old man driving the train knew exactly what to do, and when John finally surrendered to that, the money he needed showed up the very next day!

And that has happened so many times since then! Not in exactly that way, that was one of the more dramatic experiences, but he has had so many.

Just the other day he was a little short on money and wondering how he was going to pay some bills that were about to hit his bank account, some automatic payments. And he was like, “Soul, how do I do this? How is this going to happen?” And all of a sudden he looked at his email, and somebody had sent in a contribution that was more than enough money to cover those bills. It was taken care of!

And it always is.

Oh, his human still panics at times and goes, “Soul, what? Why is it so hard?”

And his soul just goes, “Take a breath, John. Step back. Allow it to unfold.”

…

And, you see, there are other times when something needs to change, and the human isn’t ready to let go yet and allow that change to happen.

Hmm…

In 1995 John arrived in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and suddenly it just felt like home. For a number of years it felt like home. He’d go on a trip and come back, come over the hill and see Santa Fe spread out ahead of him, and go, “Ah, I’m home!”

Then one day, a number of years later, he went on a trip. And when he came back he came over the hill and went, “Oh, there’s Santa Fe. It doesn’t feel like home anymore…”

That was a little confusing to John. He didn’t know what it meant or what to do about it, but he started having a feeling that he was going to be going somewhere else.

So he tried to go through life like usual, and his business kind of dried up. Money stopped coming in. And suddenly he found he couldn’t pay the rent on his apartment. And he was like, “What’s happening?” It was the first time in a long time he hadn’t been able to pay the rent.

He still had food, and the essentials for life, but he couldn’t pay the rent.

And finally, I was able to get through to him and say, “John, you need to move. It’s time to go. You need to get rid of everything you own that doesn’t fit in your little pickup truck, and go. Because it’s time for the next phase of our journey.”

So he finally heard that and said, “Okay.”

About that time he talked about it with a friend, and the friend said, “Well, you can stay here at our house. We have an extra room and you can stay here for a little bit, until you figure out what you’re doing next.”

Well, okay! So he held a moving sale, got rid of everything he couldn’t fit in his pickup truck, and moved into a room in the friend’s house. And he was still thinking, “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know where I’m going. This doesn’t make any sense!”

Three days later, after he moved into the friend’s house, he traded some computer work with another friend for a massage. And he was laying there on the massage table, opening up, receiving the massage and the love that was with it from the friend, a good friend, and all of a sudden he heard me say, “You need to go to Spokane.”

Spokane is the city where he grew up in Washington State, and he was like, “What? That’s the last place in the world I want to go! I’ve never liked the city. My family is there, and I don’t really want to deal with them right now!”

But he felt the message clear, “I have to go to Spokane.”

So he called his mother and she said, “I have a spare room here in my house and you can live here for a while, and I’d love to see you!” So that’s what he did.

He lived at his mother’s house and dealt with some old issues within himself, for there were plenty of those coming up then.

Then he got to be there when his niece was born, and to be present for the first days and weeks of her life.

He had a whole different perspective than his brother-in-law, and he got to be there as his brother-in-law’s religion crashed down around him and he began to open up.

And then he started feeling like he needed to move to the next place, in Oregon. He didn’t know why, he didn’t know anybody there, but he just felt it: That’s where I need to go.

Then his sister said, “We need to go too. So you go find us a place, and we’ll come. We’ll help with the expenses.” So he did, and he lived there with them for another half a year. And then it was time to go back to Santa Fe.

And looking back, he can see the perfection, the beauty, of that entire episode! How important it was for him. How many energies he was able to resolve within himself. How many parts of himself were able to come home in that experience.

And also, he could see how important it was for the people around him, in so many different ways, including the clarity he helped his mother find, and his sister and brother-in-law. And being able to be present for the birth of his niece, with whom he has a very special connection from the past.

And it set the stage for many things to come.

So, you can see how, if we had just left it to his mind to work it out, he never would have gone to Spokane. That was the last place his mind wanted to go, so we had to arrange things in a different way. We had to stop the money from coming to pay the rent on his apartment, because it was time to move.

Not because he was doing anything wrong. But simply, it was time to move and that’s the only way we could get through to him at that point.

So, that’s an example of when things don’t seem to work out for the human, and yet it is the river carrying you. Gently. As gently as possible. Guiding you: It’s time to go.

And that has happened other times in John’s life in similar ways, when the money didn’t come because it was keeping him stuck, and it was time to go. It was time to move into the next phase, so it stopped coming for a little bit until he panicked enough to stop and take a breath, and go inside and say, “Soul, what’s happening?”

And I said,

Well, things are unfolding in perfection. That’s what is happening!

And, there are other people involved, and this is affecting them also. It’s pushing them into the next phase of their lives and helping them to find the clarity they need.

And you see, John, you came here intent on being of service, and that is what we are doing. And that is why the money isn’t coming right now. Because that is serving in a whole lot of different ways that the human doesn’t understand, and can’t understand or even be aware of, because it’s affecting somebody else’s reality.

And he is aware of some of those things, especially in hindsight he can look back and see how perfect it has all been. Every step!

Every step has been so perfect.

So, to each of you who’ve tried trusting the river and felt like it let you down, look again.

Ask your soul to show you what was really happening, or at least to help you feel it. The human may never be able to see the details or define the story, but you can feel it.

There are other energies in play, other factors in this river of your consciousness, and it knows exactly what is needed. And if you can just relax enough to let it happen, you will discover those wings. You will discover these new realities, and you will discover a beauty that you never imagined before. Incredible beauty!

Because, you see, the river is always flowing.

The river is not some outside force. It is you.

It is your consciousness.

Or, you could say it is your energies, managed by and operating from your consciousness.

The words are not important. You can feel what we mean.

…

If you trust it, yes, there are going to be times when you fly off the waterfall and all you can see are those rocks down there. And if you can not panic…

Oh, that’s hard at first. It’s still hard for John sometimes, and that experience was almost 30 years ago.

There are always going to be those places where things don’t work out the way you thought they would, or the way you thought they should, or the way you thought you wanted them to.

If you trust them anyway, if you can be in presence with those things, with this river, with this flow—wherever it takes you, be in presence with it—you will begin to feel those wings.

You will come to a place where you look back and go, “Wow, I had no idea, but that was so perfect!”

Because that is who you are.

There is no “universe” out there controlling your life or the circumstances of it.

There is no other being anywhere controlling the circumstances of your life.

It’s all you. Every bit of it!

When you realize that, when you realize that you, the human, are not the one in control but are simply the experiencer, and start to trust those experiences, you will discover a whole new clarity, a whole new peace. A joy—we are speaking through John’s experience here—you will discover a joy, and a peace, and a presence, underneath it all.

No matter what is happening, no matter how bad your body hurts, no matter how little money you might have, no matter what is going on in your life, this underlying joy and peace is there.

It’s there right now, dear friend, but many of you have not allowed yourself to feel it yet. You are still stuck in your battles, still stuck in trying to fix everything, in trying to figure out why life isn’t going the way you expected it to go or the way you thought you wanted it to go.

You have to let that go.

…

Yes, this journey hurts. This process hurts. It always has, and it always will in some ways, until you are done with it.

But as long as you are battling it, you are not done.

As long as you’re trying to change it or fix it, you are not done.

As long as you are desperate to get it to go your way, you are not done.

As long as you are desperate to be in control of your life, you are not done.

…

This month, it has been ten years since John experienced what he calls his realization.

It’s different for everybody, and we won’t go into the details right now, but it changed his life. And the essence of it was about, No more! No more battles, no more struggles, no more trying to figure it out, no more trying to be in control.

And that launched him into a period where—well, everything since then, actually—but in particular there was a period right then that was just incredible. How the flow worked, how things unfolded for him in ways he never expected.

One of the things he began to realize is that enlightenment, at least from the human perspective—and I’m going to add, from the soul perspective as well—enlightenment is about going out of control.

You come to this place where you realize you never have been in control from the human perspective, and trying to control your life just makes it hurt worse. And it blocks you. It blocks out your other senses that can show you your soul’s reality.

So John started to feel that, and a few months later he was traveling one day from Colorado to Oregon, where his ex-partner lived. She had his cat, Toby, whom he loved so much, but Toby didn’t like traveling in John’s van, so he stayed with her. And she needed to travel for a few weeks so John said, “I’ll come take care of Toby while you’re gone.” So that’s where he was going.

It was the last day of the trip, and he was just an hour or so from his destination. He was going down this mountain river valley in Oregon, and suddenly there was an umbrella, a big beach umbrella, fully opened up, laying in the middle of the road in the oncoming traffic lane.

This was out in the woods. There was a stream crossing the road right there, and it was in the middle of the bridge over that stream. And he thought, that is such a strange sight!

It was a cloudy, rainy day, and there wasn’t anybody on any beach there. He didn’t see anybody else around, just this big colorful umbrella, and as he drove past it the cars coming the other way were having to slow down and deal with it.

As he drove past he was watching in his rear view mirror, driving his van that he’d lived in for several years, with a heavy trailer behind with his tools and his motorcycle and things like that.

So he was watching what was happening with that umbrella in his mirror, when suddenly he looked up and there was a pickup truck right in front of him, stopped and waiting to make a left turn.

He was going about 60 miles (100 kilometers) per hour, and he looked and there was nowhere to go. There was not room to get around that pickup truck. There was a drop off on the side of the road, and trees and a narrow shoulder. There simply was not room, and there was traffic coming so the pickup couldn’t turn immediately.

Of course John panicked and slammed on the brakes. His wheels were sliding and he knew he was not even going to slow down much before he hit that truck.

And… He’s still not sure what happened.

He felt calm, somehow.

He thought of Toby, of not getting there to be with Toby.

He remembers a vague feeling of something like, “No, this is not my reality.” It wasn’t words that he said, it was just a feeling.

At that point, suddenly—he still can’t explain it, but suddenly his foot came off the brake.

The van swerved, and he heard something fall over in the kitchen in the back.

And the next thing he knew, his foot was on the gas and he was accelerating—still doing 50 miles per hour, but he was accelerating and past the pickup and completely untouched!

And he still has no human explanation for that.

From my perspective, it was simple. I just shifted time a little bit. I shifted reality a little bit, and he was on the other side of the pickup truck and going on down the road.

A couple weeks later he drove back up to that place, just to look. And sure enough, there was not room for a large vehicle like his van to pass a large vehicle like a pickup truck in that space. There simply was not room, but he did it.

And from that he learned something very important, and he knew at that point that it was a message for the future, a message for him to remember:

Yes indeed, enlightened, embodied life is out of control.

The human has to let go of control, or it won’t work and it will hurt so bad!

If he had maintained control and kept his foot on the brake, he probably would have died in the next second or two. But he let go. And I was able to do things with his body that he could not have done from the human perspective, or within his reality, because he let go.

Since then there have been so many times when something has come up in his human life that made him panic, but then he remembers that time. And every single time it works out, somehow.

It’s usually not an obvious miracle like that was, where there is no human explanation. We avoid those when we can, because that’s important right now because of the world you live in.

There is almost always a human explanation for how things work out, but you are not going to know what that is until afterwards. You will not know beforehand.

…

There have been so many things, so many ways that things have worked out in ways that John could not possibly have imagined. They were not even in his awareness to be able to imagine. You could say they fell out of the clear blue sky, even though after the fact they had human explanations for what happened. But not before the fact.

And that is how life in the flow is. It just happens.

And it is always, always, always for your best good. Even if it feels like everything around you crashes and burns, it is in order to open the door for a new phase of your life.

Sometimes it is simply to bring that pain and confusion into your awareness, so that you can finally open up and love that part of you. Because it needs to come home, and you’ve been holding it away for a long, long time, terrified of it.

But that part of you, that seemingly dark part of you, needs to come home. And until it does, you cannot move forward. There are many of those, and they are all coming home now, if you let them.

But you have to surrender to this river, because it is only in the river that they are safe to come home. Only when you surrender and allow them, and love them—those parts of you, those aspects of you—just the way they are.

They’ve been messing up your life for a long, long time, trying to get your attention. Trying to get you to let them come home. And you have to love them, even for that.

Oh, not as some external being, but as you. As a part of you, because that is what they are.

They are a part of you, and you cannot move forward from here without all of you, integrated and whole.

…

So, we want you to hear this very clearly: Everything in your life right now, without exception, is about you coming home to you.

Can you allow that to happen?

Can you trust that process?

…

Oh, it’s hard for the human. But you can do it, or you wouldn’t be here.

It takes a huge amount of trust.

It takes an absolute letting go of control.

It takes putting down all of your weapons, and simply being in presence with whatever is happening.

Stop trying to fix it.

Stop trying to manipulate it.

Stop trying to make it better.

Stop trying to make it hurt less.

Just be in presence with it.

…

Some of you are already shouting, “Yeah, I did that and it didn’t work. It still hurts!”

And you have entirely missed the point.

You don’t be in presence with these things in order to make them stop hurting, or in order to fix them or change them. That’s just more of the same manipulation and control. It’s a power game.

Let it go.

Let it hurt.

Let the money not be there.

Let the body hurt.

Whatever it is that’s happening, let it happen.

Be in presence with it, instead of trying to fix it.

…

How long? For as long as it takes.

Until you can be truly okay with it, however it is.

And then it probably will change, because everything changes.

As you drop your battles and be in presence with things as they are, it opens the door for things to begin changing in a whole new way. But that is not the point.

If you are coming at it with that as your point, it won’t work. It’ll make it hurt worse.

…

Be in presence with pain, with the darkness, with the confusion, with the fear, with whatever.

Be in presence with it.

And then, live your life consciously. Do what you want to do, not what other people say you should do. And allow the pain to be there.

Whatever kind of pain it is, allow it to be there.

Having it there doesn’t mean you’ve failed.

Being short on money does not mean you’ve failed, and we will argue with any ascended master on that.

It doesn’t mean you are getting anything wrong.

It means you are coming home to you.

Because that is what everything in your life right now is about, without exception.

…

You can do it the hard way, kicking and screaming. Or you can do it the easy way, by allowing it and being in presence with it.

It’ll still hurt, for who knows how long. It will hurt at least until you are okay with it hurting for however long it needs to hurt.

That’s when things can start to change, only when you are really okay with it being the way it is.

…

Now, to be clear, we are not suggesting that you let other people run over you when there’s something you can do to take yourself out of the situation. Do that, because you don’t need to be around those people anymore.

But if there is nothing you can do right now, then be in presence with the situation.

…

Whatever it is, be in presence with it. And then you will know what to do at the appropriate moment, when it is time to do it.

You won’t know beforehand, and you need to get used to that.

A master does not know what they are going to do next, because they haven’t gotten there yet. But they know that in every moment they will know exactly where to put their foot down, and what step to take next.

…

That’s how life as an embodied master works.

It doesn’t make you rich.

It doesn’t make you perfectly healthy.

Those things might come at some point, but they are not going to come until you are okay with being just the way you are.

No more guilt.

No more shame on self.

…

John went to a men’s workshop one time. He was feeling confused about a lot of things and he talked to this friend about it, and the friend said, “Oh, I know exactly what you need!” And he introduced him to the Mankind Project’s New Warrior Training.

Well, John kind of shied away from that name, but he trusted this friend, so he went. And it turned out to be a life-changing weekend.

At some point he was doing some personal work with the group—they had an opportunity for every man to be the focus for a while, and it was his turn. He was excited, because he’d been watching all these other men go through theirs and make these big breakthroughs.

It was his turn, and suddenly he was blank. He had no idea what to work on or what to do. So they did the best they could with him, and he was feeling frustrated. He felt he was missing this opportunity to make a big breakthrough.

They had him do a trust fall, where he backs up to the edge of the stage and falls into the arms of the men below, backwards, but that was no problem for him. He knows about things like that, and he took one look at the men down there and knew they could catch him, so he just fell off and that was fine.

Then they set up a gauntlet. Two lines of men facing each other, and they had him pick someone to represent his goal.

Well, he had no idea at that point what his goal was. But he picked this old white-haired man to stand in for his goal, and then he pushed his way through this gauntlet, through these men trying to hold him back. And he pushed and pushed his way through, and finally got to the end.

As he came out of the gauntlet and looked in that old man’s eyes, suddenly it wasn’t an old man anymore.

It was God. And God was smiling.

And that was one of the most poignant moments in John’s life. Because for all of his life he tried so hard, so very hard, to be a good boy. To be good in the eyes of God and of the people around him, but he never felt like he was. He felt so ashamed of himself, like he was such a failure in so many different ways.

And suddenly, here was God. And God was smiling.

…

Really, it was me, his soul, as I temporarily jumped into that man’s eyes and showed myself to John.

A little bit later there was a point in the workshop where the men were asked to come up with an affirmation. It went something like, “As a man among men, I am…” whatever your affirmation is.

Every man there came up with something different, but John’s affirmation was, “As a man among men, I am okay.”

…

Dear friend, as a human on Earth—as a being existing in all the realms, but in particular as a human on Earth, you are okay.

…

Oh, you are far more than okay.

Every time John does a personal channel for somebody, he channels their soul. And one of the main things their soul wants to get through to them is how beautiful they are, how proud their soul is of them, how happy their soul is with them, and how much their soul loves them.

John feels like he has the best job in the world when he does that, because it’s so beautiful to feel, and channel, a little bit of the love the soul has for its human.

And dear friend, your soul has that for you. Whether you have allowed yourself to feel it or not, it does.

And you are okay.

There is nothing you are getting wrong, and nothing that you need to get right.

You are exactly where you and your soul want you to be, even if it doesn’t make any sense to the human.

I ask you to open up to that, to let your soul show that to you.

…

If you want to schedule a session with John, I’ll be there, his soul, to facilitate the introduction and make the bridge between you and your soul. And you will be able to feel it, for that is the whole point.

We don’t give a lot of answers to the problems in your life in these sessions, but we help you feel your soul and its love for you.

And you can do that right now, if you are willing.

Your soul is you. It’s not some being outside of you, so stop looking out there.

John did that for a while. He kept looking for me outside, until he finally realized that I’m right here. I am him and much more, but I am still him.

Then he began to be able to feel me. Not as someone different, but simply as a broader perspective.

That’s all I am. I am a broader perspective that allows him to see the world in a whole different way, in a way that doesn’t need to be controlled or fixed or changed in any way.

Oh, he still has a human body and a human mind and a human brain that still thinks that way sometimes, but he gets over it very quickly. Because he remembers, I am here. I am him.

And he sees, through my perspective, how beautiful he is and how beautiful life is, just the way it is. And how perfect it all is.

…

Dear friend, the river never stops flowing. It is always flowing.

Even in a block of ice, there is movement in the molecules within that block.

It is always flowing.

…

And don’t get stuck in the human metaphor, because that’s all it is. A metaphor.

Who you are is so much grander even than that!

And you can trust you.

Not the human, not the mind.

You can trust who you are.

You can trust the feelings that come from your heart.

That’s a too limited a way of saying it, but you know what we mean. The feelings that come from inside without thoughts, without definitions, without stories.

You can trust those, because that is your soul. That is how your soul communicates with you.

…

So, even when the river feels like it’s not flowing, it is.

Are you willing to trust it?

Even unto death?

…

You see, when things really start happening is when you come to that place of, I’m going to trust this river even if I die, because living isn’t worth living anymore without it.

That’s when things start truly changing.

It’s not about saying, “I want to die because it hurts too much.” That’s a cop-out. You can do that if you really, really want to, but you’ll be back to go through it again.

Or, you can simply be in presence, allow the pain, and trust the river to take you where you need to go instead of where you think you want to go.

And indeed, that brings so much beauty into your life!

But there will still be challenges. There will still be anything that’s still inside of you that keeps you from trusting that river—that consciousness of you—implicitly and completely. Anything that keeps you from that has to come up and be allowed home.

If you are feeling pain and confusion and all of that, it is because there are still some of those things there.

…

Some of you go, “Well, how long do I have to work on this? I thought we were getting over this a long time ago.”

However long it takes.

You are actually doing it very quickly. If you went any faster you’d lose your mind, and then your body, and then you’d have to come back and do it again. Is that what you want?

Why not just allow it to work itself out?

Why not allow the pain for as long as it needs to be there?

Because when you do, then your soul can work with these parts of you.

…

It takes them some time to trust you enough to come home, to find out if you are real, or if you’re just going to panic and say, “It doesn’t work, and I’m going back to whatever hell I was in before because at least it’s familiar.”

No, trust yourself.

Not to fix anything, not to get anywhere.

Simply because that is the way forward.

Because that opens the door for your soul’s presence.

That opens the door for magic in your life. True magic. Beautiful magic. Beautiful experiences!

And when the not-so-beautiful ones come along, trust those too.

…

But make your decisions consciously.

If something doesn’t feel good, it doesn’t matter if it makes sense or not.

If it doesn’t feel good, it is NOT your path.

And if it does—if it doesn’t make any sense at all but feels good inside you, if it makes you feel lighter or makes you breathe more easily, that is your path.

…

So, I can tell you, as John, as his soul, and from my own experiences as Anna in another lifetime, it does work.

But you have to let go.

You have to let go of your agendas.

People call them desires, but there is nothing wrong with desire. But if you are attached to it, it becomes an agenda and that is a boulder in your road. It gets in your way and keeps you stuck.

…

So let go.

Be in presence with everything, just the way it is. And then you will know if there’s something you need to do.

You’ll just know it, deep inside.

It’ll be as clear as anything, and it will feel right.

It will feel good.

Maybe not passionate, maybe not excitement.

Oh, don’t look for excitement! That is not good guidance. That is emotions and mind stories.

When you see something and you just go, “Ah, yes. That would feel so good!” That’s the thing to act on.

…

That’s how John got to Europe, and found himself married and in a beautiful relationship.

One day an email came that said, “You should come to Greece and get some hugs!”

And he thought, “Oh, yeah, that would feel so good!”

Then his mind jumped in and said, “Yeah, but how could I do that? I don’t have any money. It’s a long trip. I don’t have any… whatever,” and all these stories that come from the mind.

I jumped in then and I said, “John, shut up! You felt that feeling. Now just say yes, and see what happens!”

A few months later he was on an airplane with a one-way ticket, and just enough money to get there and pay the bill at the hotel, and he said, “What am I doing?” But he felt more joy that day, on that long trip with twelve hours waiting in the Athens airport for his connecting flight, and he was so happy! He felt so much joy that he had no explanation for!

He got there, and the next morning he went to lunch, and there was Romana. Two weeks later he was asking her to marry him, and two months later they were married. Now it’s been eight years, and they are so happy!

That’s the kind of thing that can happen when you surrender to the flow of the river. It won’t necessarily happen that way for you, but it will happen in whatever way is appropriate for you.

Maybe you don’t even want a relationship, and that’s fine. A relationship with your soul is incredible.

But it will be there. Whatever is truly best for you will simply be there, and you don’t have to do anything but show up.

Be in presence with your life just the way it is, and say yes to what feels good even when it doesn’t make any sense. And sometimes that means saying no to what doesn’t feel good, even when it makes all the sense in the world.

We could talk about many other experiences, but it’s time to wrap up this session.

So, trust the river, dear friend. It IS carrying you.

You can fight it, you can swim around, you can get on a boat and paddle upstream as hard as you can, but you’ll wear yourself out. You’ll crash into the rocks. You’ll hurt.

Or, you can take a breath and surrender, and let the river carry you.

And so it is.

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